Adult baby steps. Do you take them, or do you tend to just bull your way through life? Perhaps you hold yourself back and crawl? Or, do you cower in the corner?
I hope you find value in the following article, adapted from its original publication in the September, 2017 issue of Luminous Wisdom: Sophia. I’m honored to be among those selected to guest author. Did you get your copy? If not, click here so you don’t miss another issue: Sibella Publications – Luminous Wisdom: Sophia.
Do you forget?
As children, we instinctively and courageously take baby steps as we learn to navigate the world. But, do you, as I do, forget that deep inside our mature adult selves that same child still yearns for love, support, understanding, guidance, and the simple successes born of baby steps?
My inner child still welcomes small safe steps, but feels somehow expected by my adult self to move confidently in leaps and bounds. Yet, my adult self has learned to fear the consequences of “failing”. No wonder its hard to change!
As much as I heard growing up, “You can do anything you put your mind to”, no one really taught me how to do that. And, I have no recollection of hearing, “You can do anything as long as your HEART’s in it.” Wouldn’t a little passion help when my rational mind says “be afraid because ______”? And, wouldn’t a little “gut instinct” have value? If learning to walk was just a head game, I doubt many of us would try it lest we risk a terrible fall…. Then where would we be?
One of My Biggest Adult Baby Steps
One of my biggest adult baby steps came on my birthday in the mid-‘90’s. I drove 3+ hours one way for a department meeting in which each of us was told whether or not our job was being eliminated. My co-workers were nervously sharing contacts and leads. I smiled to myself because I intuitively knew I was being Divinely guided to something greater. That knowing made it easier to handle the news, though trusting that intuition wasn’t so easy. I walked into the room where my boss and the HR person were waiting. My boss said, “Well.” I quickly responded, “No s**t. Where do we go from here?” Thus ended my corporate employment, and began a priceless future. I’m glad I trusted my guidance.
I’ve had to learn on my own to navigate the unknown, often re-defining baby steps while falling. While talking with a colleague recently, I realized how much more I expect of my adult self. No wonder change IS harder.
What if we were to be easier on ourselves? Imagine treating that often overlooked inner child with the same compassion she was shown when her body was small and less experienced. What if we remembered to honor and use those most important tools still within us? You know, actually follow our hearts, trust our guts, and show our fearful minds it isn’t all that bad, just like way back when….. And, let our rational minds chime in when appropriate.
I still need support from my team of coaches, peers, and wellness pros. They help me connect with those tools when I can’t alone. My support team holds space for me to breathe, be calm, go within, and ask the big questions: “What do I need to know? What are my next baby steps?” They help me LISTEN, and trust.
What are your next adult baby steps?
Are you ready to go forward with courage in your adult baby steps? Do you need support to listen, trust, and take them?
If you could use some support finding and taking your adult baby steps through your challenges and change, apply for a complimentary Discovery Session today to see how we may work together to give you the needed direction, and courage.
Embracing change isn’t always easy, but the right perspective can make it worth it in the end. It will help you become the best version of YOU. It’s time!
In my last article, I suggested Spring cleaning your life for more energy, joy, clarity and peace. Part of your Spring cleaning likely involves answering the call we all are receiving, i.e., to BE who we are YOU-niquely designed to BE – for the good of the Whole. Even if you don’t recognize it as such, the TRUE longings in your heart are telling you, “BE YOU!” Always.
Embracing change of that nature can surely stir up resistance, masquerading as guilt and fear. Which can stop you dead in your tracks unless you are prepared to handle them. I will share with you below how to make it easier.
It’s not always easy letting go and embracing change.
Change can be especially difficult when we are anchored by deeply ingrained habits and “belief baggage” with strong emotional ties. Your “belief baggage” is especially difficult because it’s a part of your identity, a form of intellectual property, and your familiar home. In other words, it’s your center and ground, your comfort zone. Instinctively we protect what is “ours”, and our “home”. All normal.
And, all holding you back if you aren’t willing to face it head on, feel the fear, and do it anyway.
You aren’t only changing a mental construct, you’re changing your programming, i.e. the wiring in your nervous system. You’re opening to new ways.
Letting go and embracing change takes time, courage, persistence, and patience.
(It’s also helpful to have a support system, and a plan to help you navigate the journey. Just sayin’. You know, like your life coach can do with you…).
What’s stressing you?
Think about the changes that, deep down, you’d really like to make. The ones that you dismiss, or ignore, but which resurface repeatedly. You know the ones I mean….
The changes that, if made, would ultimately land you in the most amazing place in your life. That amazing place for which you are YOU-niquely designed to be.
What’s continually stressing you that needs to go (or needs a belief “re-vamp”)? A relationship? A job? A commitment? Something else?
Which habits could use a little variety, or even hit the highway?
What’s missing that’s waiting for you to open the door and welcome it in?
Let yourself really feel into what it would be like if there were no limits, no excuses. IF ANYTHING, and EVERYTHING were possible. How would that feel to have your life EXACTLY as your heart longs for it to be?
How would your body feel?
I invite you to ask yourself, “What’s holding me back?”
And let the answer come through your heart, your gut, from your Higher Self.
Note how you may be limiting yourself with beliefs of impossibility, lack of worth, lack of self esteem, “should’s”, and “musts”.
Be willing to admit what you’re afraid of.
How much of any of those limits is REALLY true? Seriously.
Sometimes there’s guilt involved. Which is really fear in disguise.
And, you may not even know what you’re guilty about. Regardless, its your beliefs at work. Again, knowing yourself and drilling down are key.
Here are some questions to ask yourself to help you in that process:
- Are you afraid of hurting someone by saying “no”? Have you thought of how you might actually empower them to handle something themselves if you say “no”?
- Is it REALLY true that you don’t deserve improvement? Do you deserve to take your next breath or even eat when hungry? Aren’t those improvements of a sort? Where’s it fair to draw the line regarding what improvement you DO deserve?
- Who’s suffering if you “improve”? Might they benefit, learn, grow, or even become empowered if you improve?
- Who are you dishonoring or disappointing by making a change? Are you living YOUR life, or theirs? Aren’t they responsible for their own reactions?
- What are you really afraid of? Keep digging. You answers ARE there.
If someone REALLY loves you unconditionally, they want what’s best for you, and what makes your heart sing. And, that’s a two-way street, right?
None of us can decide what’s truly best for another. We only know for certain what is going on inside of US, and what’s best for us.
It’s your birthright to become the best version of you. It is your Purpose, and your destiny, to be the best YOU, and make your difference in the world.
And, everything you need to do that IS within you. You will see it, feel it, know it if you look past the fear, and the guilt.
Which is worse/more stressful? Changing, or tolerating the way things are now?
Change isn’t necessarily all butterflies and roses. But, personally, I prefer the stress associated with personal growth and improvement to that from tolerating something that isn’t a good fit for me. It has a different quality to it. HOPE, ENTHUSIASM, OPTIMISM are mixed in. That’s better than despair, pessimism, anger, and resentment- in my book.
And, I also know that I have to be ready, which includes having a plan and support in place….. Otherwise, the stress WILL be worse – because the anger, resentment, pessimism, and despair will creep into my “new” path to test my resolve as well…..
Are you ready to let go, embrace change, and be the best version of YOU? A great way to start is to use your complimentary copy of my 5-Step Quick Start Guide to Release Anxiety, Chronic Pain, and Stress. Get your copy here: