We often find ourselves handling tough times these days. More pressures, more crises, more disturbing events in the news, more health issues, etc.
I share with you my secrets to handling tough times in the article below, which was originally published in the August, 2017 issue of Luminous Wisdom: Sophia. You can grab your copy of the magazine here: Sibella Publications – Luminous Wisdom: Sophia
In challenging times….it’s natural to seek safety, security, reassurance, comfort and confidence, right?
In tough times, I center and ground myself in my connection to Source, and my deep knowing that everything happens for a reason. Those “reasons” keep me aligned with the Purpose for which I am designed to live. This natural sense of “home”, always available to me, reminds me I’m not alone, no matter how lonely I feel.
Whether my life, or my body, is challenging me (or both) I tune into my Inner Wisdom. I notice my feelings, their underlying thoughts and beliefs, and how my body is responding to them. I take stock of the dominant themes in my life, stress, and fears. Equally important are the whispered dreams and urgings of my Soul that I often easily dismiss. My pain and stress are guides to my opportunities for growth. All ARE the things that need to be addressed for my body to heal, and my life to course-correct.
What can you control when handling tough times?
The only thing I can control is my response to my situation. By finding the silver lining, choosing new positive thoughts, re-framing my beliefs, and aligning my actions with this new perspective, my body responds in healthier ways. Then, I know I’m back on track with my Purpose, naturally congruent with my design. When my mind and my actions are back on track, aligned with my design, fulfilling my Purpose, I feel better. I AM better, on all levels.
I also listen to my body and notice its response to help me make decisions. Unhealthy stress responses indicate that my choice may not be right for me, and/or that I’m experiencing normal human doubt and fear. Even the “right” decision can be stressful, but the quality of that stress is different than that related to a decision that isn’t best for me. “Good stress” is accompanied, and offset, by the positives of the situation. The excitement and “deep knowing” that I am living my Purpose. The key is learning to tell the difference between what is and isn’t best for me.
That doesn’t mean its always rainbows and roses.
Tough times help me to grow. Life’s about change, which can be difficult, as I fear the loss of the familiar, cherished, and loved, while opening to the new. Being an inefficient system, I may not heal completely and continue to live with “dis-ease” even after adopting healthier ways, perspectives, and habits. It also may be part of my journey to live with challenge, symptoms, dis-ease, etc.
Resting into my connection to Source and deep inner knowing helps me resolve anxiety, chronic pain and stress, and trust that all is going perfectly according to Divine Plan. I know I’m supported even when I break down.
Going with that flow IS following my heart, my Purpose. How do you handle the tough times?
If you could use a little help learning to listen to your body to navigate the tough times, grab your free copy of my 5-Step Quick Start Guide to Release Anxiety, Chronic Pain, and Stress:
Did you know your answers are within you for all of your health challenges, stressors, and even knowing what’s next for you? Yes, your answers ARE within.
Whispering to You Through Your Heart, Your Soul is Telling You Your Answers Are Within.
Looking to feel better, experience improved health, find your next steps? Want to the satisfaction and fulfillment of knowing and living YOUR purpose? Your body is guiding you to follow the path that’s best for you. Your heart knows your Purpose. And, your Soul’s whispering through your heart all you need to know to be all you’re designed to be. You first need to know and trust that, then learn how to listen and follow along.
Centuries ago, the “church” decided that the more esoteric matters of the mind, heart, emotions, and spirit was its domain. The medical community decided the physical body was its domain. That was the beginning of separation of “church and state”. Perhaps that’s what lead to a tendency to look for our answers and solutions outside ourselves.
Sure, you must consult with professionals at times because they have necessary skills and knowledge you don’t. And, that knowledge will enhance your understanding and decision-making. But they don’t have ALL of the information. Only you have lived your life, in your shoes, with your experiences. You’re the only one who truly knows what’s going on inside your mind, your heart, your Highest self.
Ultimately, only you can make the best decisions for yourself, and manage your thoughts to keep aligned with your design, your Purpose, what IS best for you. And, when you stray from that, your system will respond in kind with symptoms of stress and dis-ease.
I’m honored to share with you the second in my 12 article series with the newly published international online magazine, Luminous Wisdom – Sophia “Follow Your Heart, Your Purpose: Your Answers Are Within”. Please share your comments below – would love to hear from you!
Ready to go within to find your answers, reduce your stress, improve your health and well-being, and live your Purpose? Grab your free copy of my 5-Step Quick-Start Guide to Release Anxiety, Chronic Pain, and Stress today.
Your body’s saying, “Be YOU!” It begins with a whisper, and if you don’t heed its message….. it gets louder. First, you have to know enough to listen. Are you listening?
I’m pleased to share with you my first article from the newly launched international online magazine, Luminous Wisdom – Sophia “Follow Your Heart, Your Purpose: Your Body’s Saying, “Be YOU!”:
Your body’s saying, “Be YOU.”
If you’d like to learn to listen to it and follow its guidance to resolve your issues at the root joy, peace, purpose, fulfillment, apply here for a complimentary Discovery Session. Questions? Email me today.
It’s an honor to be a contributing author for Sibella Publications’ newly launched Luminous Wisdom – Sophia online magazine. If interested in a subscription, you can learn more here.
You ARE designed to live an extraordinary life. Did you know that?
You’re programmed and designed to be a YOU-nique BEING, with a you-nique place only you can fill. You Purpose is to fill it by learning, growing, evolving into the best version of YOU that you can. When you fulfill your Purpose, you feel alive, connected, fulfilled, and love what you’re doing. Your life fits you, and you fit your life.
Isn’t that in itself amazing, incredible, remarkable? I think it is. Oh, and by the way, “amazing”, “incredible”, and “remarkable” are all synonyms for “extraordinary”.
I invite you to first consider what “extraordinary” means to you. It means different things to different people. Some, because of their “definition” don’t believe they’re meant to live an extraordinary life.
I’m not suggesting you’re necessarily meant to rise to the top in your profession, win a Nobel Prize, nor become famous and filthy rich. I’m suggesting simply that you are you-nique, and something of value is contributed to the WHOLE when you aspire to being the best version of “YOU” you can be. Then you’re showing up fully for the world, living your Purpose to the best of your ability, letting your Inner Light shine brightly.
Think about it.
An Intelligence created 100 Trillion cells of “YOU” before you were even born, from 2 completely individual single cells. Isn’t that incredible? And, it isn’t done. There is much more of “YOU” to potentially be created, maintained, and evolved.
Your nervous system is key in carrying out that Plan. It’s continually making adjustments based n your experiences, situation, circumstances, etc. It’s in charge of keeping you going, functioning, healing, evolving, living.
The ease with which your system can follow the Plan is affected by whether you align with, and support, it in your choices and responses, or you thwart it.
How do you know when you’re thwarting the Plan for your extraordinary life?
You feel stressed. Yep. Stress is an indicator that you’re out of alignment with your Purpose. Any stress, i.e. any sign of living less than an optimally healthy, high quality life is an indicator.
When stressed, your nervous system has to work overtime to make up for the alteration in the Plan. It’s showing you how to get back on track with symptoms of stress. If you ignore or tolerate the symptoms, or simply go for a quick-fix to eliminate them, you miss that “re-direct”. And, you stay off-track. Thus, you live a less-than-extraordinary life. It may well be ordinary, or average at least. But, it isn’t extraordinary. Click here to see a great TED Talk YouTube video on this topic: “How Ordinary People Become Extraordinary”.
Listening to your Inner Wisdom guiding you through the symptoms of stress you experience can help you better align with the Plan for “YOU” so that you live an extraordinary life. One in which you feel alive, connected, fulfilled, and passionate. A life that feels like the right fit.
Are you TRULY satisfied with your life?
Or are you settling….. for ordinary? Ordinary is ok if you are ok with life’s aches, pains, health issues, and the other symptoms of stress. It’s your life, your health, your choice. Only you can decide what is and isn’t acceptable, extraordinary.
“If you would like help living an extraordinary life, grab your free copy of my “5-Step Quick-Start Guide to Release Anxiety, Chronic Pain, and Stress”:
Embracing change isn’t always easy, but the right perspective can make it worth it in the end. It will help you become the best version of YOU. It’s time!
In my last article, I suggested Spring cleaning your life for more energy, joy, clarity and peace. Part of your Spring cleaning likely involves answering the call we all are receiving, i.e., to BE who we are YOU-niquely designed to BE – for the good of the Whole. Even if you don’t recognize it as such, the TRUE longings in your heart are telling you, “BE YOU!” Always.
Embracing change of that nature can surely stir up resistance, masquerading as guilt and fear. Which can stop you dead in your tracks unless you are prepared to handle them. I will share with you below how to make it easier.
It’s not always easy letting go and embracing change.
Change can be especially difficult when we are anchored by deeply ingrained habits and “belief baggage” with strong emotional ties. Your “belief baggage” is especially difficult because it’s a part of your identity, a form of intellectual property, and your familiar home. In other words, it’s your center and ground, your comfort zone. Instinctively we protect what is “ours”, and our “home”. All normal.
And, all holding you back if you aren’t willing to face it head on, feel the fear, and do it anyway.
You aren’t only changing a mental construct, you’re changing your programming, i.e. the wiring in your nervous system. You’re opening to new ways.
Letting go and embracing change takes time, courage, persistence, and patience.
(It’s also helpful to have a support system, and a plan to help you navigate the journey. Just sayin’. You know, like your life coach can do with you…).
What’s stressing you?
Think about the changes that, deep down, you’d really like to make. The ones that you dismiss, or ignore, but which resurface repeatedly. You know the ones I mean….
The changes that, if made, would ultimately land you in the most amazing place in your life. That amazing place for which you are YOU-niquely designed to be.
What’s continually stressing you that needs to go (or needs a belief “re-vamp”)? A relationship? A job? A commitment? Something else?
Which habits could use a little variety, or even hit the highway?
What’s missing that’s waiting for you to open the door and welcome it in?
Let yourself really feel into what it would be like if there were no limits, no excuses. IF ANYTHING, and EVERYTHING were possible. How would that feel to have your life EXACTLY as your heart longs for it to be?
How would your body feel?
I invite you to ask yourself, “What’s holding me back?”
And let the answer come through your heart, your gut, from your Higher Self.
Note how you may be limiting yourself with beliefs of impossibility, lack of worth, lack of self esteem, “should’s”, and “musts”.
Be willing to admit what you’re afraid of.
How much of any of those limits is REALLY true? Seriously.
Sometimes there’s guilt involved. Which is really fear in disguise.
And, you may not even know what you’re guilty about. Regardless, its your beliefs at work. Again, knowing yourself and drilling down are key.
Here are some questions to ask yourself to help you in that process:
- Are you afraid of hurting someone by saying “no”? Have you thought of how you might actually empower them to handle something themselves if you say “no”?
- Is it REALLY true that you don’t deserve improvement? Do you deserve to take your next breath or even eat when hungry? Aren’t those improvements of a sort? Where’s it fair to draw the line regarding what improvement you DO deserve?
- Who’s suffering if you “improve”? Might they benefit, learn, grow, or even become empowered if you improve?
- Who are you dishonoring or disappointing by making a change? Are you living YOUR life, or theirs? Aren’t they responsible for their own reactions?
- What are you really afraid of? Keep digging. You answers ARE there.
If someone REALLY loves you unconditionally, they want what’s best for you, and what makes your heart sing. And, that’s a two-way street, right?
None of us can decide what’s truly best for another. We only know for certain what is going on inside of US, and what’s best for us.
It’s your birthright to become the best version of you. It is your Purpose, and your destiny, to be the best YOU, and make your difference in the world.
And, everything you need to do that IS within you. You will see it, feel it, know it if you look past the fear, and the guilt.
Which is worse/more stressful? Changing, or tolerating the way things are now?
Change isn’t necessarily all butterflies and roses. But, personally, I prefer the stress associated with personal growth and improvement to that from tolerating something that isn’t a good fit for me. It has a different quality to it. HOPE, ENTHUSIASM, OPTIMISM are mixed in. That’s better than despair, pessimism, anger, and resentment- in my book.
And, I also know that I have to be ready, which includes having a plan and support in place….. Otherwise, the stress WILL be worse – because the anger, resentment, pessimism, and despair will creep into my “new” path to test my resolve as well…..
Are you ready to let go, embrace change, and be the best version of YOU? A great way to start is to use your complimentary copy of my 5-Step Quick Start Guide to Release Anxiety, Chronic Pain, and Stress. Get your copy here:
When feelings of overwhelm creep into your daily life, do you ignore them and just keep pushing through your day? If you’re like me, and many of my clients, you do. But, if we don’t recognize overwhelm as the warning sign it is, we can end up crashing.
Our daily routine and habits give us our comfort zone, and perhaps a false sense of being in control. They can keep us from realizing that we really DO need to tend to our stress. And, we can, therefore, miss a rich opportunity for improvement to ultimately impact our health and well-being.
Until….. a crisis hits, and feelings of overwhelm are an understatement.
The reality check of a crisis can really push us to the limit, as we are drawn into survival mode, with its own set of dynamics. It forces us to re-examine our priorities. Unless we value our wellbeing enough to prepare in advance….. without hitting the wall first…..
Our recent snowstorm here in the Northeast was a great opportunity for me to appreciate all I’ve gained in my ability to handle the tough stuff, as well as discover that, well, let’s just say….. I still have a little work to do……
My home can quickly become inaccessible in poor weather. That’s bad enough, without also considering: a dairy herd, barns, equipment, two homes (father-in-law next door), and a nearly-96 legally blind grandfather living alone 20 minutes away. Add in: being a one-person business with no paid time off, and no way to recoup lost client time.
My husband and his aging dad run the farm. I mostly watch, encourage, and empathize, occasionally handling the dumb end of a shovel, or trying to look imposing while running around waving my arms and yelling (usually to chase cows, sometimes to flag down one of the guys … marginally effective at either). But, when there’s a crisis, I’m often called upon to “girl-up”.
Back to the snowfall, and overwhelm.
It seems like everything needs to be done at once in the morning. Starting stubborn diesel tractors. Creating access for the milk truck to pick up our milk (luckily – every other day). Plowing space in the field to spread manure. Clearing the manure collection area for the wagon and tractor. Breaking free the frozen barn cleaner. Clearing the barnyard so the cows can go out so the guys can clean the barn, or exit in an emergency. Monitoring roof loads.
In the meantime, water bowls must be thawed so the cows can drink (equivalent of a bathtub of water a day), and silos unfrozen and cleared so feed can be put out. Then, birthing happens…..
Waiting patiently are the houses, roofs, vents and chimneys, driveways, etc. Not to mention, access to, and fueling of, the outdoor wood furnace. If lucky, we find our vehicles and clear them off. All while praying we don’t have an emergency or breakdown……
Not done. I still need to check on my grandfather and his home (as well as other family), cancel and re-schedule appointments, hope my office is still accessible and intact, and remember to eat, drink, bathe, sleep, etc…… Get my drift? Yes, a pun.
Overwhelm. Where do I begin dealing?
Better question: where do you begin?
Here are 5 tips I find useful, and share with my clients, for dealing with overwhelm:
- Notice how you’re feeling, and tend to your self-care first. You’re no good to anyone if, well, you’re no good. Right?
- Be present and mindful, “in the moment” to stay focused, clear, and open to what you really need to know. Listen to your heart, and gut. Then, you’re more likely to notice important changes, and respond appropriately.
- Prioritize calmly, objectively, yet intuitively. Obviously, a crisis necessitates different prioritizing than daily stress management. Remember, knowing your values is key in setting priorities that keep stress under control, and get you through a crisis. Let your heart and mind partner-up.
- Break tasks into smaller steps, focusing on what you’re doing, not on what else is still waiting for you. Acknowledge your progress and stamina along the way.
- Find a silver lining. Some joy, accomplishment, awareness, experience. Try to have fun, and appreciate something or someone…..
I find times of overwhelm are excellent opportunities to remember what is REALLY important to me. It’s a time to bolster my self-care, be in the moment, acknowledge myself for the small things, find pleasure and joy in the simple things, feel connected to something Greater, and be grateful.
One thing that stands out for me, too, in a crisis, is pulling together in community. Nothing is more heartwarming to me than seeing everyone do and BE their best to help each other and make the world go ’round. How about you?
Needing support in times of overwhelm, or managing stress? Apply today for a complimentary Discovery Session. We’ll hop on the phone for about 30-40 minutes and get you on your way! Talk with you soon!
Do you desire a more balanced life, but feel stuck when it comes to creating one?
A balanced life means something different to everyone. What would a balanced life look and feel like to you?
To me, it means feeling calm, grounded, clear, focused, and on-track with a sense of connection, purpose, and meaning. It also means having a handle on your life without being pulled too much in one direction.
How do you know if your life is out of balance?
Only you truly know how you are feeling and what you are thinking. Being honest with yourself, listening to, and heeding those persistent whispers calling for change, before they become shouts, will help you find balance.
What is your Inner Guidance telling you? Is it whispering “imbalance” to you through feelings of stress, discontent, agitation, being spread thin, and/or irritability? Fatigue? Depression? Health issues? Simply a persistent desire for things to be different?
If you are experiencing any of the above, ask yourself if there are certain areas in your life needing more, or even less, attention.
Where do you start?
Assess your life, state of mind, and how you are feeling. Where would you like to feel more balance? What are you neglecting?
Would you like more balance among:
- Doing vs. being
- Giving vs. receiving
- Being responsible, vs. being care-free
- Being alone vs. with others?
Delving a little deeper, do you feel balanced in time and energy spent on your inner vs. your external world?
- emotional life,
- spiritual life, and
- physical health and wellbeing
- work life,
- social life,
- family life, and
- recreation/fun time
Are you so focused on the activities of life that you are unaware of what is going on inside of you? Conversely, are you so focused on what is going on within you that you are missing out on living life?
You may feel balanced between those two main areas, but desire to balance out the aspects within one or the other. For example, you may feel a need to spend less time thinking, and more time feeling, and connecting to spirit.
Within one or more of those aspects you may desire more balance. For example in the aspect of family, you may desire greater balance between fulfilling family responsibilities and creating healthy boundaries.
Spending time and energy in any of these ways can be positive. However, excess in any one area can turn that positive into something detrimental to your well-being in the end.
Living a balanced life decreases stress, improves health, and increases well-being.
How do you find your balance?
Knowing what values you hold close to your heart is key in creating a balanced life. Ultimately, it is the value within that you instinctively seek in your most fulfilling choices. Do what you love.
I teach my clients a process to get their head out of the way, and listen to what their hearts value. Choosing to spend their time and energy in ways that embody those heart-held values helps reduce stress, and increase their fulfillment.
Make a list of your values, and verify that the ways you spend the majority of your time and energy embody those values. Are your values present or absent in the aspects of your life in which you have chosen to create more balance?
How do you create a balanced life?
Commit to being balanced, and embodying that commitment in every decision.
Make a plan. Identify tasks needed to achieve your intentions daily, weekly, monthly, annually. Start with small, baby-step changes. Then, when you start seeing results, its easier to maintain and build momentum.
Make time to check in with yourself and reassess on a daily basis. Notice what has and hasn’t worked. What changes, if any, do you choose to make?
Empower yourself ahead of time to thwart the negative voices and challenges.
Know ahead of time what inner stuff will get in your way so you can be prepared when the resistance rears its head. It always does.
- how you stayed focused in the past when you accomplished the most important things
- what you need to remember to overcome those worries, fears, doubts, anxieties, and self-sabotaging thoughts
- how it felt to have succeeded despite the parts of yourself that had a difficult time
- what you need to tell those parts of yourself
- how to be kind to yourself so that being balanced feels good
Connect with someone who can be your cheerleader, witness, and support person to keep you focused, supported, motivated.
If you feel you could use an objective professional to fill the gaps your friends can’t in supporting you, consider working with a transformational life coach. Apply today for a complimentary Discovery Session to see if this may be a dynamic resource for you.
As with any change, it takes time and practice to create new habits.
Give yourself a minimum of 3 months to establish new habits and patterns. If you stay on track with this intentional process for that long, chances are good you will create lasting new habits and feel more balanced and fulfilled going forward.